Once
someone tells a lie, they usually have to lie again to cover up the first lie,
and they feel even worse, if they have the ability to feel guilt. In my case,
this particular person really does not feel any sort of guilt. Still, lies
grow, they never stand alone, and they need more lies to support the first lie.
Thus the cycle of habitual lying starts. In Buddhism this is not the path to
love truthfulness and compassion, and is clearly not a karmic path I would want
to follow.
Trying
to understand the physical aspect of lying is important. When people lie, it
stimulates three main sections of the brain. Lying activates the frontal lobe
for its role in the truth-suppressing process, the limbic system due to the
anxiety that comes with deception, and the temporal lobe because it's
responsible for retrieving memories and creating mental imagery. Here is
something else, the more you lie, the more the internal conflict of lying
diminishes. People stop feeling so bad about lying. They no longer worry or
feel guilty about lying. That's not so great really because if the liar no
longer feels like lying is a big deal this affects their karma and their
spiritual growth.
We
need to have compassion because we have to understand that people lie for
reasons. So why do people lie? It is hard to give just one reason. One has to
look at a variety of reasons. Some people lie because telling the truth feels
like giving up control. Some lie because the truth can be inconvenient. Fear
seems to be the number one reason why people lie. They are afraid to upset
someone, lose their job, and because they are fearful of losing the respect of
those around them. They want you to like them so much they lie to get the
likes. People lie to have acceptance, to get approval and attention. Sometimes
they lie to be appreciated.
Unlike
Christianity, there is no rule/commandment in Buddhism about lying however, the
Buddha believed in order to find enlightenment, to walk in peace, we need to
abstain from falsehood. In Buddhism, being truthful goes beyond simply not
telling lies. It means speaking truthfully and honestly, and it also means
using speech to benefit others, and not to use it to benefit only ourselves.
For
me as someone who practices the philosophies of Buddhism or at least work daily
on practicing, I ask myself what to do about someone who lies constantly. I get
and understand we need to have compassion. Nobody likes being lied to, and the
natural reaction is to call the liar out, but that’s not always the smartest
thing to do. I tend to be surrounded with people who lie. I think it is a past
life thing really. However, in this lifetime I get that lies can be harmful,
and I try to have compassion for those who lie.
So
I pretty much get that the person lying is not willing to have enlightenment,
and that they are living a hurtful life to themselves and others, so when I see
it in that way, and meditate and make sure I see it like that, I can have
compassion and move on no matter how big the lie. I get to understand it is
part of their brain structure and personality and for that compassion needs to
be a must. Please remember compassion when loved ones are dishonest.
